SEE THE WORLD... through my eyes: October 2008

ketidakwarasan padaku~~~~

adooyai!! lepas balek dari jumpe mak mertue rituh, aku macam x stabel jek.. huk3.. penin2.. xsedap badan.. losing my appetite.. huwaaa.. nape jadik sampai gni?? was it a shock 2 my body n soul?? ke mane perginye antibody2ku sekalian?? x abes cuti deepavali lg kew?? huk3.. maken hari aku maken lemah lak.. makan pn da stat x abes jek.. membazer... 1 thing je x brubah.. i keep on listening to AVRIL LAVIGNE!! hua3.. so addicted to her indie songs!! baru sedot latez album die > ALL YOU WILL NEVER KNOW< .. kuang3.. jangan jelez ppl!! and i picked 'WHY' as the song for the day!!

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even when you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

**aku ase, mode lagu nie seswai mase aku tgh suffer dlu.. heheh.. but,overall, ske words die.. meaningfull..

and, improvement on me>> setiap hariku dihiasi dengan senyuman dan hati yang berbunga2.. kui3.. mode jiwang kini kembali.. wee~~ baru terase hati ni kembali merah dan basah... [hak3.. gaye penulisan hiperbolik digunekan di sini]... DIA... mngembalikan segala yang pernah aku hilangkan.. DIA... sentiase ade untok aku... DIA... dapat mencari diriku yang hilang 1 mase dulu.. dan aku bdoa, agar keadaan seperti ini berpanjangan hendaknye.. amiiiinnn.. semoge diperkenankanNya... kiter hanye mampu merancang.. and for now, i chose this path.. to be with him.. supporting each other to be much better than yesterday.. i said to him.. IF YOU WANT MY FUTURE, FORGET MY PAST [spice girls - wannabe]... and he did that.. die xpenah ungkit pasal my past.. never!!.. hee ^^.. thanx u.. since we knew each other, die da gtau, yang die suke giler lagu nih.. [stick wit u-pussycat dolls].. ade sentimental value katenye.. hek3.. moh le kiter kongsi bsame..

hari2ku kini, lebih bermakne... alhamdulillah.. syukur tak terhingge Ya Allah.. masih ade kesempatan rupe2nye aku nak alami sume ni balek.. thanx for the opportunity.. aku terharu... dan sesi 'rehab' >>mendekatkan diri padaNYA [in my dictionary], akan aku perhebatkan.. insyaAllah.. thanx to DAMAI yg keep layan me in wuteva condition pn.. hehee..thanx dear, for all the guidance.. tego2 la tang mane yang saye tersasar.. ilmu di dade ni cetek lagi.. admit dat!! i juz need sum1 that can lead my way to HIM.. yes.. n i noe, u can help me.. hee^^.. and aku harap, everythin will be juz fine through the day.. amiiinnn..

setiap perbuatan itu eloknye dimulekan dengan bismillahirrahmanirrahim~~~ dan setelah selesai, ucapkanlah alhamdulillah dengan setulus hati... insyaAllah ketenangan jiwe akan menghampiri.. (^o~)

and jangan sangke minah-kipas-susah-mati-avril-dalam-mode-jiwang ni da hanyot jaoh... i wont do the same mistake twice.. insyaAllah~~

aku jumpe bakal mertua!!!!

ah sudah.. betul ke nih?? aku macam x caye jek ape yang da jadik semalam.. hahaha.. btul... aku telah di'drag' ke umah bakal mertua ku tanpe sebarang persediaan awal... maen terjah jek kitorang semalam.. umi punyelah tkujat.. kui3.. ampuuunnn umi... bukan salah saye... salah anak umi ni haa... tibe2 datang hangin die.. huu.. tapi, overall, alhamdulillah... segale2nye berjalan lancar... lagi senang dari interview JKR ar yang pastinye... huu... yang jelas kelihatan, muke umi hepi sangat3...mungkin pasal die bersyuko tak tehingge coz anak terune die da brani nak pikul tanggungjawab.. hua3.. juz wait and see.. macam2 yang diborakkan.. dari pasal famly aku, famly die, n seterusnye, famly 'kitorang'!! huargh!! bile aku denga pasal sume 2, aku jadik takot.. ntah nape.. lom cukop redi kowt.. ataupun, aku x yakin dengan diri sendri untok amek tanggongjawab tuh.. huu.. mak, tolong!! tapi, mase aku cite kt mak semalam, die xcakap pape pn.. bz sangat melayan tamu kat umah kowt.. huu.. dan aku dipinggirkan... ni la naseb badan.. isk3

aku cume xdapat imagine untok bine hidop baru dalam mase sesingkat nih [sepatotnye da ade anak sorang due da kan]... kui3.. tapi, tu laa.. aku nak setelkan satu2 dulu.. one step at a time =D [jordin sparks].. hurmm.. kalo aku tny orang, mesti akan dibalas 'buatla solat istikharah, dya.. 2 yg terbaek'... yup!! i will.. insyaAllah... yang pastinye, pengalaman semalam buat aku xlene tdo n asik tersenyum dalam tdo.. hua3!! kronik!!

AKU....... dalam kesamaran malam [.]"

agak kebosanan... n otak tengah kekeringan idea untuk tulis ape.. hurm.. ingat nak kua amek angin.. tapi keadaan tak mengizinkan... aku pun maleh nak gerak banyak2 dalam keadaan aku yang gni... hahaha.. macam orang tengah sarat mengandong jek... tett!! nede laa.... hmm, esok nak p open house rumet... kat jb... tatau la da ok ke lom esok nih.. huu.. suffer2.. (-.-)'

about my relationship wif him~~~
hurmm... tataula ape benonye status kitorang neh... teman tapi mesre?? or da sampai tahap nak ikot cakap EDRY... 'sumpah takkan cari yang laen'?? keh3... yang pastinye, bile aku tanye diri sendri, hati aku jawab 'berilah masa hingga kusedia, namun kau tak mahu memahaminya... oh no!!!' [bak kate MILA]...hak3... hidopku tak pernah sunyi dengan muzik... pade mereke2 yang nk lagu baru2, insyaAllah aku ade... heheh.. macam pembekal jek.. telinge aku mcm serbe tak kene if xde muzik... huu.. 2 yang bile mP3 aku rosak dulu, aku menggelabah tahap ibu ayam dikejar musang.. hua3... naseb ade kakak yang baek ati, menggantikannye dengan mP4... kui3.. da bomb!! q(^o^)p

ekh.. da teklua tajok.. ok2.. back to him.. hurmm.. he's a bit different from the rest of my previous bf... not a bit.. totally different!!! in every aspect i can say... ntah nape.. jodoh kitorang macam panjang... kitorang kenal mase aku 2005/2006 kowt.. co-incidentally... back then,kitorang mcm rapat.. he always there 4 me.. n keep makes me smile.. kitorang xpenah face to face.. xpenah jmpe langsong.. kitorang contact tru phone jek.. n mebi psl kitorang kawan, xdela nak gado2 psl hal rumah tangge yang leh membawe kepade keberantakan kan?? heheh.. aku hepi dgn die... not long after that, kitorang lost contact.. quite a while.. ntah bape lame, die contact aku balek... nak tau die cakap ape for the reason he'd disappeared at that tym?? die kate die accident... hp die rosak... plus, he was a bit ting-tong kejap after accident tuh.. x brape nak ingat.. huaa!! terharu tol aku, coz die still dapat ingat aku... then, kitorang contact balek mcm biase.. tp, kesibukan aku membataskan waktu bersamanya.. kuang3... tibe2 jek kitorang senyap balek.. die bz keje, aku bz stadi.. hurmmm.. ok.. kejap on kejap off.. n until pesta knvo aku rituh, ogos 2008.. aku tjumpe die kat sane.. huu.. die meniage eskrem!! cute-ta (^o~)

adeh.. panjang tol cite nye kan.. heheh.. tapi, tula aku cakap.. jodoh kitorang panjang... mase aku p endon, kitorang senyap balek.. n bile aku juz arrived in jb laz week, die call aku.. hahahaha.. aku x gitau die pun yang aku da balek mesia.. die kate, die bkoba2 sangat nk contact aku [dengan penoh harapan aku angkat fon.. n die x sangke aku da balek mesia]... kui3.. haih.. mcm2 kan?? itukah namenye jodoh?? aku tawakal jek.. huu... doa2 yang terbaek utk mase depanku.. amiiin...

hidden talent??? or juz wasting the batt??

gamba2 kat bawah ni aku amek sepanjang tempoh aku memiliki kamera baru... hua3... kamera biase2 jek yg berkuase 7.1Mp... i have it juz b4 i got off to padang... sebenonye, aku teringin sangat beli 1 kamera nih.. bukan DSLR or other camera yang canggeh-manggeh.. tp aku hanye mahukan POLAROID... hua3... oldskool kan?? korang tau x polaroid 2 yg cenggane?? ala, kalo korang tengok, mesti korang recognize.. kamera 2, bile kiter amek gamba, gamba die trus siap on the spot... kamera ni banyak kat lua negare, n aku rase, sangat la murah... tapi dalam mesia, agak sukar bagi aku nak carik bende alah nih.. huu.. dats why sampai sekarang aku mengidam lagi nk dapatkan kamera nih.. pade sesiape yg ade info, tolong aku k... ade gak kawan yang gtau, ade 1 kedai kat larkin, JB ade jual kamera nih.. huu.. tapi, aku xsempat lak p sane dek kerane transport n time constrain...

haa... ni la die camera polaroid... korang sume tau kan3??

yang paleng aku suke pasal polaroid nih, gamba yang kiter amek,siap on the spot... ini kerane, aku malas nak simpan softcopy tiap gamba yang aku amek.. keh3... and aku maleh nak p carik kedai yang menawarkan harge paleng murah untuk memprint digital photo..selaen itu, untok menyimpan sofcopy gamba2 aku, akan memakan ruang yang besa dalam hard disc aku..lantas melembabkan proses dalam laptopku.. huuu... kalo boleh, nak terus siap n ade depan mate... selaen jimat mase, ienye memberi latihan kepade aku agar tidak membazir.. yela, bile pake digi cam biase, brape puloh shot kiter amek untok pastikan kualiti gamba yang terbaek.. memandangkan polaroid ni, snap-and-ready, kiter harus memileh, mase yang terbaek, angle yang betul and beberape variables laen yang diperlukan untuk mendapatkan shoot yang terbaek agar tak membazir filem yang ade...

tapi, dengan ade nye kamera baru aku nih, aku ase, talent yang aku ade, tak la sie2 sangat kan?? heheh.. tengok la hasilnye.. quite impressive.. hak3... [pujian ke atas diri sendiri akibat ketidakwujudan makhluk laen yang pernah memuji aku]... anyway, aku puas ati dengan hasilnye.. n kamera 2 pn, aku beli dengan duit aku sendiri... so, sangat berbesar hati la memiliki nye... heheh... bile aku ade duit lebih cket nanti, akan ku upgrade pencapaianku ini...